Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Hordish Hoarder

Sevros walked into the Broken Tusk inn, looking for familiar faces in the crowd.  The loud raucous laughter of a group of young orcs, fresh from a battleground, retelling tales of the Alliance slaughter in Gilneas made him grin inside.  Looking at them reminded him of his younger days when he and Azadelta, his teammate for many years, would join Chymasitsa, a great warleader, as she led them to victory after victory in the battlegrounds of Arathi Basin, Warsong Gulch and Alterac Valley.
A tauren bellow followed by a wave caught Sev’s eye, and he made his way to a brightly lit corner where a solid set tauren druid sat with two she-orcs, listening to a troll warlock animatedly discussing items she had put on the auction house.

“900 gold, can you believe that!?” said Azadelta, her voice incredulous.  “And I’ve just found ANOTHER one to sell!”

“Hey Sev,” said Lushnek, nodding in greeting, lifting his hooves off the chair opposite him so Sev could sit down.  Sev shook his head.  “I won’t be here long, but thanks, HK,” he said, using the old nickname Lushnek went by when he was a hunter – a name he had long since abandoned since he had experienced the druid calling, but all his friends continued to call him by that name.

“Where you off to Sev?” asked Azadelta, as she took a long drink from her flagon.  “You heading out to the battlegrounds?”

“I’m looking for Nav,” Sev said.  “Have any of you guys seen her?”

“I think I saw her heading to the bank before,” said Lushnek, scratching his chin.  “The one here in the Valley of Strength.”

“Thanks,” said Sev, as he turned to leave.  He poked Roshii in the shoulder.  “Stop reading Souglyy that bad poetry of yours.”

“Hey, I like it!” said Souglyy, slipping her hand into Roshii’s.  “Don’t listen to him, babe,” she said reassuringly as Roshii’s face turned beet red under her mask.  “It’s good.”

“Navi said it was alright,” mumbled Roshii, her face chagrined.  “She should know, she’s good at that stuff.”

Sevros grinned wickedly and headed out towards the Goblin bank which was bustling with busy customers.  He frowned, craning his neck over the crowd, but was unable to see Navimie in the throng of people at the counters.  As he turned to walk out, he caught a glimpse of a feathered headdress in a more secluded corner of the bank, which he recognised as hers, and made his way towards her.

Navimie was standing at table with satchels and cases scattered on top of it and around her hooves.  She appeared to be sorting out her bags.

“Hey Nav,” said Sev, sidling up beside her.   He frowned as he peered curiously into one of the open bags.

“Hi Sev,” said Navimie, distractedly.  She looked up, the faraway look in her eyes clearing as she turned her green gaze onto Sevros.  “Oh, what time is it?”

“You said you wanted to do some arenas… starting 5 minutes ago…” Sevros grinned cheekily.  He loved to bait his friends when they forgot things.  Navi found that smartarse side to him endearing, yet also extremely irritating.

“Oh yeah, sorry!  I’m coming, I’m coming!”  Navimie closed the bag she was rummaging through and started to gather some of the satchels into her arms.  Sevros bent to help her pick bags off the floor when an object inside her Dragonhide Bag caught his eye.  Curiousity filled him as he reached into the bag and pulled out an Egg Basket.  “Why have you got one of these?”

Navimie snatched it out of his hand and stuffed it back into the bag. “I like keeping that old stuff! You never know when you might need it.”

Sev peered into another bag and saw 3 pairs of the gloves of the same design, but different colours.  “Navi, why have you got 3 pairs of the same gloves?”

“They’re not the same, they’re different colours,” huffed Navimie indignantly. “Sev, you never know when you’ll need a good pair of gloves to go with something.  And you can’t get just BUY these gloves, some of these are quest rewards, one of a kind.”

“Nav, this is insanity, look at this!”  Sevros pulled out 5 cloaks from a box under the table.  “Nav really, when are you ever going to wear a pink cloak??  Why are you keeping all this crap?”

“Sev, I don’t KNOW,” wailed Navimie.  “I can’t seem to throw anything out.  Look at my trinket collection.”  She pulled out her Barov Servant Caller and a Dog Whistle.  “I can’t throw these out.  They’re so cool to have around!  Where else am I going to put them?”

"I don’t see your Rainbow Generator in here,” said Sev, as he rummaged through the sack of trinkets.

“It’s in void storage.”

“Why can’t you put all these things in there?”

“Because,” she said, with the Don’t-You-Know-Anything tone, “it’s FULL.”

“Of what?”
“Clothes. Tabards. Weapons.”

“How many clothes do you need??”  Sev’s voice was incredulous.  “You’ve got enough clothes here for the whole guild!  Look, when are you going to wear this?”  He shook out Phaelia’s Vestmentsof the Sprouting Seed.

“Hey, those robes are designer!  They’re named after a really awesome druid writer!”

Sev rolled his eyes in disgust.  Females.

“So what are you actually doing here?  Are you looking for something or..”

“I’m trying to make space in my bags,” said Navimie, digging through another pouch full of enchanting materials.  “I need to get rid of some of this stuff.”

“Uh huh.”  The bulging cases suggested she hadn’t gotten very far with that goal.  “Where are all the things you’re throwing out?”

Navimie gestured to the floor by her left hoof.

“One shoulder armour?  That’s it?”

“I need all that other stuff…”

Sev snorted.  “You don’t NEED anything.  You’re wearing all the things you really need.”

She sighed.  “I NEED bigger bags.”  She went to pass the bags to the goblin bank teller.

Sevros snatched the bag back and handed it to her.  “No.  You need to CLEAN out your bags.  Let me help you.”  He opened the bag and started taking out things and throwing them onto the pile.

“Halaa tokens… you don’t need these…”  He tossed them onto the pile.

Navimie picked them back up and put it back into the bag.  “Yes I do, I still need one of the Talbuks from there.”

Scepter of Celebras? Nav, you know you don't NEED that to get into Maraudon anymore. And you definitely don't need Mallet of Zul'Farrak either."

"I know."  Navimie shrugged helplessly.  "But you can't get them anymore."

It was unbelievable what Navimie kept in her bank.  Sev found 6 different staves, 2 daggers, 4 maces and a number of useless offhands.  Both red and green Winter hats as well as a number of tabards occupied one of the bags, and other holiday items such as the Brewfest Dress and Pilgrim's Dress were in another part of her collection.  Navimie refused to part with them.  Sev was about to throw the bags out the window in frustration.

Sevros managed to convince Navimie that she didn't have to keep all her epic gems in her bank and at least that freed up 6 slots.  A number of ugly weapons ended up on the pile as well - Sev told her that the colour of them made her eyes look less green, and after that she was eager to get rid of them.

By the time they finished, Sev had managed to get Navimie 14 extra slots.  Her bag of fish was taking up a lot of empty space, but she was convinced she would need it at a later stage.  Her bags were now much tidier as well - trinkets were all together, as were her weapons.  Sev thought he probably could have gotten rid of most of those ugly clothes, but Navimie wanted to keep them in case she decided to change her mind about what she was wearing.  Females, he muttered to himself, he had no idea why they liked to hoard so much.

Navimie dusted her hands off as she handed the last bags back to the banker.  "Ok, Sev," she said, turning to him.  "I'm ready for those arena games now."

Sev looked pointedly outside at the darkened sky.  "It's a bit late now, Nav.  I think the whole afternoon got sucked away with your bag space crisis."

Navimie's face fell.  Sev grinned and nudged her.  "I'm joking.  I'm always up for games.  I'm sure we can squeeze in a few before supper."

Navimie's face brightened, and Sevros clapped her on the back, a broad grin splitting his craggy features, and together they headed out to the arena pits for some well earned sparring practice.



28 comments:

  1. This is what I should have done, rather than kitting myself out in lots of illusionary bags :(

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  2. I have Illusionary bags! And I still have bag space issues! Well, not so much now... but it gets full pretty quick!

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    1. I suspect this is one case where Altitis is a good thing :p

      I've only had Sprout since August last year so it's hard even for me to be completely overloaded. I daren't quite look into the bags of Erinys though.

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    2. You know how I said I don't have alts... I may not have alts but I have bank toons. I have 5 of them. AND 2 guild banks. I REALLY need to throw things away :(

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    3. This confession cheered me up no end :p

      Sorry :(

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    4. No need to be sorry! You just made me laugh!

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  3. Oh, I know. I tried to clean out Cat's bank yesterday and all I threw out were the Halaa tokens. There's so much stuff I just can't get rid of, like the Essence-Infused Moonstone you used to need to summon Anzu, just can't throw that away!

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    1. But.. but... the mounts! You might need them later!

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  4. Nice story. I almost feel like I know the characters first hand...

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  5. This was pretty funny, Navi! I'm also in the same situation and I managed to pick up some gear from our Naxx run last night, so I have to do some shuffling around again, lol.

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    1. I've seen your toy collection. You're a hoarder.
      Oh they're not toys? Oh, right... collectible miniatures. I totally get the difference. :P

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  6. Tauren or Draenei, we are one.

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  7. Ahahahaha! I've been agonizing in the same ways over the bag and bank space of my characters :D

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    1. For an avid clothes collector like yourself... I hate to think what your bags look like!

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  8. Hahahaha! I loved this story!

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  9. What a delightful tale! Reminds me of my hoarding practices, I can't help it!

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    1. I thought a lot of people could relate to it LOL!

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  10. Cool story Navi ;)

    -Roshii

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    1. Thanks Rosh :) was worried you might be offended at Sev laughing at you reading poetry :P

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  11. There was a time when I stored non souldbound items in the mail :/ Hoarders unite!!

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    1. You used to do that? I STILL do that! :D

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  12. Nice story Nav ;-). But I don't love to bait my friends, they're just never on time! :p

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    1. LOL Sev, well, of all the friends who would give me crap about my bags, I thought you were the most amusing and sarcastic :)

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  13. That was awesome Navi! :D

    You need to do more stories.

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    1. You've inspired me to do pvp ones!

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